Faith and daily life, 4. family with teenagers


In a group of families with teenagers we discussed two questions:

Question 1:
Besides the Messiah Yeshua we have also come to know the Torah in a new way.
In what way has this influenced your daily life?

Instead of celebrating the Sunday, we now celebrate Shabbat and the Biblical Feasts. This has provided us with new insights as well as new boundaries. Our Messiah is Jewish!
It has also led to conflicts with our children/teenagers. They had to give up some activities like playing in the football club and sometimes a party.
It is important to stay in contact with our teens. Maintain an open communication!

A single mom indicated that we shouldn’t force children to participate.
Be relaxed in the way you deal with the newly found feasts and put the love of Yeshua in the centre.
Be the good example in this, behave lovingly and patiently towards your children, for they have to get used to the changes.
Invite them and welcome them on Shabbat! Then love gets the chance to gradually grow.
An other mom indicated there are always conflicts just before the entrance of Shabbat.
Try to solve the situation with  some humour, try to turn it positively, try to be creative.
Of course the children’s puberty  plays also a part. They notice the difference between them and the outside world and they want so much to be part of something. It is difficult for them. Eventually they will have to decide for themselves. Some children are doing that already.

A mother told about her daughter inviting the whole class to come and have a pancake dinner  in the succah (booth). Her daughter expresses her faith openly.
An other girl showed the Jewish traditions proudly to her new boy-friend, while she had revolted against them earlier.
Stay positive and full of love and give the good example to your children.
Give them some room! Your influence is of high importance!

Question 2: You were created as a woman to be a ‘woman of valor’ or an ‘eshet chayil’.
How does this knowledge influence your life as a woman?

For a woman of valor it is important to handle your children with respect.
For one person this may mean staying at home together om Friday night (Erev Shabbat). In that case the children do not go to birthday parties of other parties at that time.
Someone else indicated that her children go to parties and birthdays on purpose, to be a witness to others and to build and strengthen relationships.

A woman of valor gives her children room, but sets clear boundaries as well.
Working at the relationships with our children is very important for them to stay in good shape. Give your children your positive attention and communicate with them.
Associating with our teenagers is also a very precious thing.
You can also learn a lot from them because they are critical and hold the mirror before you.
When they grow older you have to gradually let go of the steering-wheel.
They will have to learn to be responsible for themselves and to make their own choices.
You will have to learn to let go of your  children. That’s how you give them confidence!

The conversation was lively and worthwhile.
We have learned from our different viewpoints!
And we hope it will exert a good influence on us and our children.